I had to learn this the hard way. It's how you look at the situation that will determine how the situation is for you. See the same situation can be totally different for two different people. Your mind is the controlling factor of your thoughts. Your thoughts are the controlling factor of your outcome. The bible says A man is as he thinketh. Im telling you, this is the basis of every self improvement book you’ll ever read. Don’t let your circumstance and situations dictate your future or outcome.